


Drifting Through Sunlight

by heavyweather



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Body Worship, Fluff, I Tried, I tried really hard, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Royalty, Soft Ethan Nestor, Soft Mark Fischbach, Sunlight, i love this a lot, semi modern royalty, this is a present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28624026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavyweather/pseuds/heavyweather
Summary: things were so nice here. life here was nice. the soft sheets against his bare legs, the way the sun glided into the large room and shined off of the polished floor. he could see specks of dust in the rays of light and struggled to resist the urge to lay in the sun spot like a lazy cat. the warm sun was all too alluring.no one would question it if he did, he's spent multiple afternoons roaming from sun spot to sun spot, desperate to shake off the chill of the stone walls.maybe after breakfast.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	Drifting Through Sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO IM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!!
> 
> this is a christmas present for one of my very close friends and i've spent many weeks writing this and making it nice. i love this one a lot and think about royal au ethan a lot. he doesn't wear pants, i wont let him. also who wouldn't want king mark??

it was a stupid decision. it really was. 

it was a mistake, he told himself that as he laid there. 

it was a mistake to come to the castle like this. to be this for him. to allow everyone to believe what they had created. 

but even as he tells himself it was a mistake, ethan can't be bothered to demand anything otherwise. mark would certainly give him anything he asked. that's how it was supposed to work. ethan would ask for something and mark would get it for him to maintain appearances. if ethan wanted a new set of clothes, mark would order the tailor to make him something. if ethan wanted something entirely too specific for supper, the cooks would head straight to the kitchen with one look from mark. 

ethan could have anything and everything he wanted. 

things were so nice here. life here was nice. the soft sheets against his bare legs, the way the sun glided into the large room and shined off of the polished floor. he could see specks of dust in the rays of light and struggled to resist the urge to lay in the sunspot like a lazy cat. the warm sun was all too alluring. 

no one would question it if he did, he's spent multiple afternoons roaming from sunspot to sunspot, desperate to shake off the chill of the stone walls. 

maybe after breakfast. 

for now, ethan watches as the dust drifts in and out of the sun and how the birds make shadows on the floor. he's sat up in the large bed. knees pulled up against linen and his hands playing with the long cuffs of his shirt. the mornings were all for him, there was nothing to do, no reason to play the part they've both made for him. 

he's alone most mornings, often not allowed to spend the night down the hall, regardless of the amount of leeway he is given. ethan can do whatever he wants, they've made sure that no one will question his presence in advising meetings or his walks around the castle grounds every afternoon. but to keep everything from falling apart, there are some things he's not allowed to do. rules that have been in place for centuries that he shouldn't cross, for risk of revealing it all.

he wishes he didn't have to follow them, he wished he didn't have to pretend to be this. it gave him so much, but so little at the same time. he wishes he didn't have to spend mornings alone. 

a knock on the door startles him out of his thoughts, briefly worrying that he's not doing what he's supposed to. but when the door creaks open and it's just tyler stepping into the room, his shoulders drop and his attention returns to the sun.

"am i needed?" it's spoken into his knees, chin resting between the two. tyler walks over to the wardrobe, sparring a passing glance towards ethan when he rounds the bed.

"not now, but he wants you dressed and down for breakfast within the hour." doors click shut and the young butler is setting fresh robes on the bed for ethan.

"will there be anyone with us this morning?" the robes are a deep red, lined with silver piping. they are sure to shine in the sun. ethan wonders if the other knew he needed to feel like the sun today. 

"just his highness is joining, although i and a few other staff will be in and out for service." tyler is just standing there, looking at him. the stare makes ethan shrink into himself. his arms are behind his back, head held high above his shoulders, the proper form for a butler.

"you don't have to call him that when it's just us," ethan goes back to staring at the sun, feeling all too uncomfortable with the atmosphere of the room all of a sudden. "we've known each other for years now tyler." the last bit comes out as a mumble, but the truth of what it means makes it feel like it echoes off the walls of the room. 

tylers silent for a moment, not one to speak out of turn, even if it's just ethan with him. ethan wonders if it's for mark's sake or his own. 

"his high- mark made sure to request from the chef your favorite recipes and for the rest of the castle guests to travel in town for their food." he starts to walk back towards the door. "one of the maids will be in shortly with water for your bath, please be sure to thank them before they depart." 

they give each other a nod and tyler has closed the door, the thug of wood on stone ringing as ethan stares at the robes next to him. tyler has always been so hard to read. years of knowing each other and ethan still often struggles to gage his mood. mark can always tell what tyler is feeling, thinking; having grown up together so closely. making the man laugh quietly or seeking counsel from him regardless of his state.

ethan wonders if it's because of his own status in the castle that tyler is so much different with him than mark. 

though, he does suppose that it's more to keep up appearances than reality. mark told him long ago that tyler knew all about their arrangement, that he knows why ethan is there and what to do about it. he just wishes that the man wasn't so proper all the time, it eggs on the feeling of lying, even in private. 

he reaches out to feel the robes tyler laid out. they are soft to the touch, maybe a silk blend of some kind. he can see a linen undershirt under them, a lavender with lace details. ethan rarely picks out his own clothes, if he did, there'd be a pair of trousers with the set, but everything he wears is beautiful, ornate even. 

mark sometimes requests he wear something specific on special occasions, coming in himself those days and laying out what he wants before tyler has the chance to do so. those days are conflicting, they mean more walls, more rules, but they always mean a day together, a day where they aren't apart. ethan wishes every day was a together day. 

he hears the click-clack of a maid's shoes down the hall, quick-footed as always. a knock means she stops by his door, giving it a quick knock, and coming in when ethan says so.

"water for your bath, sir." she bows as she speaks. she's young, maybe even younger than ethan. hair done up in a tight bun and hidden behind a bonnet. 

"thank you." ethan gets up from where he's sitting, wanting to help her. "did you bring towels?" 

she stares questioningly as he takes the other side of the barrel of water, and helps her lift it over to the tub by the window. 

"yes, sir, they are on the cart." she bows again as ethan begins to mix in bath salts and reaches for the bed warmer to place under the tub. she's returned holding two fluffy towels by the time ethan is about to disrobe. 

"thank you." it's as soft as he can manage, he's always soft with the wait staff. ethan has never gotten over how wrong it feels to have people wait on him.

"of course, sir," she nods her head and turns to leave. ethan hears the cart wheels screech and the door bang as he undoes the laces of his collar. 

the bath is warm, the maids probably heated it before bringing it to him. it's as warm as the sun and the salts he's added soothe the itch under his skin. it makes him lean back against the bronze of the tub. his knees peak out of the water and he can feel a draft from the window, it's a nice reminder of what lays outside of the castle walls.

ethan takes his time in the bath, savoring the warmth and the time alone, before drying off and putting on the robes tyler laid out. 

the undershirt is thicker than what he's used to, but he supposes it makes up for the lack of trousers. the robes themselves brush against his calves and just barely meet the ground. they tie around his middle, leaving a slit down his legs so his knees peek out while he walks. 

his hair is on the right side of dry when he makes his way through the castle hallways, mark will like the bounce anyway, so there's no reason to risk being late while drying it. 

the stones under his feet are cold, his toes curling with every step. the thought of stockings darts through his mind as he starts down the stairs towards the front hall, his fingertips running over the rough walls and slipping into the holes in the mortar. the sensation sends shivers up his arm and over his shoulders. 

tingles linger in his hands as he turns toward the large wooden doors at the end of the main entryway. it's guarded by two men, dressed in iron and holding spears. ethan has been in the castle for quite some time, around the king almost every day, so they don't hesitate to open the large door and nod as he passes them.

the main hall has always amazed ethan. its large ceilings stretching high above his head and walls lined with royal garb, paintings, and stained glass windows making the sunlight that shines into the space a rainbow of colors. 

even more amazing, every time he enters the room, it's made up for different occasions. long tables for parties, full of food and other royalty. open spaces for presentations to the king, a line of chairs at the far end of the room, a throne in the middle of them. 

now, it's a small table near the throne, round and wooden. there are butlers standing against the back wall, waiting to be called, guards at each door, one to the kitchen, one to the garden, and two on the other side of the grand entryway. 

mark sits at the table, reading papers while holding a drink in one hand. his crown seems to be elsewhere, probably in his room or in the safe hands of tyler. he doesn't have his robes on, the long plush cloak hanging off the back of his chair. he's got his glasses on. 

"your highness." ethan hates saying it, hates that he has to use honorifics to the man he knows doesn't expect them from him. 

at his voice, mark looks up, a faint smile at his lips. he sets down his drink to stand, the papers once holding his attention forgotten. 

"ethan, darling," mark takes ethan's hand, holding it while he takes a seat next to him. "thank you for joining me."

"of course, sir." ethan bows his head a bit, unsure how freely he can act with other people in the room. he glances over to the line of butlers. tyler pays him no mind while he stands a few feet away. 

"ethan it's just us," mark doesn't even acknowledge the others, the guards, the butlers. "you know you can speak freely with me." 

ethan hesitates, looks down at his plate in front of him. this whole arrangement is hard to understand, he doesn't know how to act when playing this role, when being this person. he doesn't know if mark realizes what will happen if they get caught. 

"ethan-" 

"what were you looking at before i came in?" 

ethan is quick to change the subject, they can discuss this another time, not when there are people with them. not when ethan has to perform and mark doesn't. 

he looks up at mark, at his royal highness, with what he assumes is a bright smile, fit for a king. he knows it doesn't meet his eyes. 

mark doesn't look convinced, looks like he wants so badly to press further. he could if he wanted to, it wouldn't be unusual for the king to get his way. his eyebrows pushed together, the sun making spots on his glasses. ethan wishes he could see his eyes. 

mark has always had beautiful eyes.

"advising notes," mark finally concedes, picking up his papers once more and shifting his glasses. "seán wants to look into explaining trading to the kingdom across the ocean," ethan keeps his eyes on mark, always willing to listen and give his thoughts when the king wants them. "though i'm not sure if the ports can handle the influx of cargo." 

mark has always been good at ruling, constantly looking at every side of things to make the right choice. so giving and selfless, if he was allowed he would be the one tilling the land and navigating the seas. ethan's always admired how hard he works, stays with mark during late nights and offers his own opinion when mark is stuck between issues.

as mark discusses what's happening through the kingdom, butlers flitter around them both. tyler pours him a glass of cider, bows as a response to his thank you. another sets a platter of meat on the table and asks if ethan wants a fresh pastry, the cook just made a batch. ethan tells him to bring a few, knowing mark will blindly reach for one once they arrive. 

"i just can't justify doing that to an ally," ethan tunes back into mark's speech right in time to catch him rubbing his temples. "i mean, it would mean more land for the agricultural sector, but pushing against land boundaries always ends in a fight." 

he goes silent then. rubbing his temples and staring at an advising memo. ethan can tell he's stuck, can tell mark doesn't know what to do, but doesn't want to admit it. ethan takes another bite of his muffin and leans closer into mark's space, wanting to look at the paper. 

mark allows the paper to leave his hands though he keeps his head down. the hall is quiet, no more scuffling of shoes or clanking of platters. 

it's a map, the memo. a map of the west most corner of the kingdom. ethan can see that mark as scribbled some notes around the area, marking the number of farmers and towns around the area, how the population is rising at far too high a rate to keep up with food production. 

there's a valley right next to the farthest most village, following the turning river that lines the edge of the northwest border. if they wanted to be able to expand farming land, they needed access to that valley. 

"is that king lassiter's territory?" ethan asks to make sure he's on the right track.

"mmm," mark moves to scratch his beard, looking at the paper in ethans hands. "general nelson says none of his people have been occupying that valley for years."

"you could make a deal with him," ethan looks at the bottom of the page, seeing amy's written down notes about the area. a few comments about how the valley has great defense on every side, a river on one and low mountains on others. "lassiter can get five, ten, present of all revenue made in the valley for," he picks up another paper, noticing value stats of the land and what revenue seán thinks the kingdom can make with the new land. "four years. maybe construct a joint river port to maintain allyship with them." 

ethan's so focused on the information in front of him, he doesn't notice mark's eyes on him until he looks up and meets his stare. the dark pupils he's confronted with make him blush, they dart across his face, stopping every now and then to linger on his lips. 

the king has his chin in his hand, leaning against the arm of the chair. he looks dopey, like he's a child once more, daydreaming in the middle of a lesson. ethan can see the corner of his lips turn up into a smile. 

"what?" ethan's face is red, matching the bright rose of his robes. for a moment he thinks it's something he's said, suggested something strange or foolish.

mark is silent, still that dopey smile on his face and his glasses slipping down his face. they stare at each other for a moment, ethan fidgets with the papers in his hands, flicks the edges with his fingertips and flits his eyes away from mark's gaze to try and lessen the heat steadily consuming his face. 

finally, mark speaks. though his eyes never move from ethan's being. 

"tyler," the man's shoes clack against the stone as he steps behind mark's chair. "send a note to general nelson to draft a land trade deal with king lassiter for the mori valley in the west and send one of the staff to let sir mcloughlin know i need to meet with him later today." 

"yes, sir." 

"oh and tyler." mark moves to sit up once more, finally moving his eyes off of ethan's face. ethan lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"yes, sir?"

"clear my evening, along with the next morning," he gathers the rest of the papers in front of him, holds out a hand for the two ethan is still holding. "i don't want to be disturbed until tomorrow's supper." 

the last part is quiet, low enough for only the three of them to hear. ethan feels like his ears are melting off. he can feel the glance tyler sends his way, though the man is polite enough to bow a final time and leave. 

his eyes are trained on his lap, his hands toying with the strings of his robes and his foot tapping tirelessly against the stone floor. he feels like he's over stepped, somehow pushed the rules too far and risked this special something they have. 

he feels a warm hand against his forearm, mark squeezes slightly to have him look up. mark's eyes are full of nothing but fondness, the smile had only grown. he's taken off his glasses, they lay across the table, an earpiece right against the plate of cornbread. 

the hand on his arm moves up to his shoulder, ethan feels the rough pads of marks fingers against his neck, the warmth of his palm against his cheek. ethan can't look away from him, always entranced by him, his king.

"thank you, darling." mark's voice is so low, so embedded with roughness. he sounds so caring, so willing to do anything ethan asked. "what would i do without you and your mind?"

"probably accidentally commit acts of war against allied kingdoms." it's true, but mostly said to take the seriousness out of the air. to make ethan's chest not feel like it's going to explode. 

mark leans across the arm of his chair, into ethan's space. his hand on ethan's chin tugs him closer to his king. his breath hitches as their lips meet. mark's beard is so rough, overgrown and prickly. it tickles ethan's upper lip. ethan's eyes are closed, the sun makes swirls behind his eyes and all of his senses are focused on the man he's kissing. 

when mark pulls away, it takes a second for ethan to remember where he is, who he's with. mark is so close, his breath against ethan's chin, his thumb stroking ethan's cheekbone. his touch sets ethan's skin on fire. 

"you're probably right." marks smirking again, giving off smugness like waves. he did it on purpose. he did it to make ethan flustered.

and he succeeded.

"you scoundrel." it's meant to be biting, to match the playful air mark has created. but his voice is so small that it's more timid than anything. he hadn't noticed when his hand reached out for mark's sleeve. its soft between his finger.s

"you say such things so easily to your king," mark pulls back as he speaks, moving his hand from ethan's face. the grip on mark's sleeve doesn't loosen. "some might wonder why, my love." 

he's so smug, a smile never leaving his lips. he leans back against the back of his chair, his hand linking with ethans. another squeeze. 

it's encounters like these that make ethan stay. the way mark looks at him, the way his smile makes ethans chest tighten and his breath stops. the way his voice sends shivers up ethan's spine and how every glance makes heat rise to his face and his head to get dizzy.

it's encounters like these that make ethan stay. 

they spend the rest of the breakfast in blissful silence, occasionally interrupted by a butler or a chef's aid bringing out food. tyler came back after a while with a response from seán, saying that he can be at the castle around supper.

mark chats easily with a few of the wait staff, making jokes and creating small talk to ease their nerves. ethan stays mostly silent, only really speaking when needed, like to thank a staff member or reassure a butler that he doesn't need more cider. 

after they are both done, tyler instructs the staff to clear the table and for the guards to open the front hall door for the two of them to leave. 

-

"mark why do you do such things around others?" his tone is teasing, willing to poke fun at the other now that they are alone. ethan is much more comfortable when it's just the two of them. walking down the long hallways and ascending the stairs allows for his mind to clear and for ethan to come back.

"what such things, my love?" he can hear the smirk in mark's voice, can hear that familiar smugness. it makes ethan shake with giddiness. 

"don't be daft," the hand around mark's bicep squeezes slightly, his other than playing with the material of the king's shirt once again. "why must you be so open with your affections with others around?" 

"to show you off, darling," mark nudges ethan's shoulder, making bother of them lilt to the right. the windows they pass make his glasses twinkle in the light. "to show them how lovely you are. if their king can see your worth, then they should be able to witness it themselves." 

ethan huffs at that, heat rising on his cheeks once more, along with a smile upon his lips. mark has always been able to be open with his feelings, regardless of who's to witness. he prides himself on being truthful, which inadvertently extends to ethan and his own feelings for the younger.

sometimes he takes it farther than the rules say, allows for true care and love to slip through his words for others to hear. it makes ethan nervous, worried that mark might blow everything with just a few words and a look. 

"they won't find out, ethan," mark's voice is more earnest, less playful. his shoes click against the stone, butting up against the plush of his cloak. "if you're worried about them finding out, they won't- and even if they did, you know i won't let it become a problem." 

ethan's eyebrows furrowed, smile fading slightly. 

"I'm not worried, but," the guard stationed outside of mark's chambers steps aside for them to enter. ethan waits to hear the thud of wood against stone to continue. "if too many of them find out what we really are, news will spread through the kingdom and nothing will stop your councilors from demanding you step down to make room for the nephew of your second cousin." 

he sits down on the bed while mark makes his rounds through the room. his cloak is thrown across the chairs by the wardrobe, as well as his glasses placed on his desk across the room. ethan watches as he picks up the stack of papers tyler took during breakfast. ethan wishes he was allowed to look at every piece. 

"you know that's not going to happen." mark takes another look at the note seán sent, writing down something next to the text.

"but it could if we aren't careful," ethan plays with the strings of his robe, the lace at the ends make a similar tingle run up his arms as the stone walls. "i don't want anything to happen." 

he looks back up at mark, the man has sat down at his desk, the large chair almost dwarfing him. the king is staring back at him, their eyes meet and ethan looks back at his hands. 

marks shoes thug against the run on the floor as he walks over, ethan feels the bed dip and then there's hands holding his own. his body tips over onto mark's shoulder, he can feel the heat of skin through his shirt. a thumb starts rubbing against his palm. 

"i won't let anything happen." 

ethan can feel the vibrations of mark's voice through his cheek, can hear the truth in his voice. it eases his nerves slightly, just enough to close his eyes. 

"ethan, look at me." 

there's fingers on his chin, tilting his head up and towards mark's face. he can feel his breath against his lips. his eyes open to see marks face just an inch away.

"i won't let anything happen." mark's eyes flit back and forth, seeking something from ethan's. "do you believe me?" he's pleading with him, willing ethan to trust him just this bit more. 

ethan closes his eyes again, not being able to handle the emotions in mark's eyes. he just wants to fall into it, to be able to let go. 

"yes." it's so small, but for the first time all day, ethan doesn't feel like he's playing a part. "i trust you." 

the breath against his lips halt. he feels the fingers under his chin move to his neck, pulling him in to close the gap. their lips meet once more, the taste of bread and cider meet his tongue as marks' breaches his lips. mark's hand at his neck slips into his hair, tugging slightly as ethan reaches for his waist.

ethan knows his face is flushed, knows that if he looked into the mirror he would be able to tell just how much he was feeling. he can feel mark's chest against his own, the other pushing closer as if they could occupy the same body. ethan gives into him and allows mark to lay him down on the sheets.

mark moves from kissing his lips to his jaw, then his neck, one hand against the mattress and the other threaded through ethan's. their legs tangle together as ethan's hands move to untuck mark's shirt, wanting to feel him, anything to stabilize the buzzing under his skin. '

"ethan." mark's voice has turned husky, overwhelmingly deep. he keeps his attention on ethan's neck as he speaks. "ethan."

"yes?" he's surprised he got anything out, with the way he feels like he's floating. 

"i won't-" a nip at his ear, "let-," back down to the juncture of his neck and shoulder, "anything-" a particularly hard suck to his adams apple, "happen to you." 

all ethan can do is groan. he feels overwhelmed, fuzzy. mark leans back a bit, giving ethan a quick break, just to pull their hands up to kiss ethan's. it's so, polite. so out of the realm of what was just happening. it makes ethan hold his breath. 

mark locks eyes with him as he trails kisses down his arm, ethan folding it around mark's neck once he gets to his shoulder. 

"anything." he feels it against his skin, mark whispering it into the skin exposed on his chest. "anything."

"mark." 

his beard is rough against his skin, but he loves it, loves being this close to him.

"mark." 

"yes?" ethan's hands are in his hair, tangled in the strands. he pulls him back to face each other. 

"so would i." he would do anything for his king. anything. he would do anything to keep this. he strokes the man's temple, thumb by his eye, touching the hair of his eyebrow.

mark smiles, kisses ethan's wrist, lines his other arm with kisses. ethan closes his eyes, again falling into this, this feeling mark makes him feel. the man reaches down to untie his robe, pushing the material aside to hold his hips again, rubbing his thumbs against the soft skin. 

the body against his own leaves, the cold air rushing into his space and creating bumps on his exposed skin. he feels mark's hands slide up his sides, the warm palms squeeze at his waist in passing and rest against his ribs. fingertips dig into his skin and he hears mark sigh above him. the fabric of his tunic is bunched around his shoulders, a breeze from the window makes him shiver.

he peaks his eyes open to see mark sitting back on his heels, looking at him, admiring him. usually, this position implicates something more intense, more involved. but mark has this look on his face, like he's transfixed, stuck. 

"you look wonderful," the man's hair is ruffled from its once pristine shape this morning, his eyes are hooded, locked onto ethan's chest. "i could look at you forever." 

it makes' ethan blush even harder, the rest patches finally breaching his chest and heading to his stomach. he flings his arms over his eyes, wanting to somehow avoid the gaze of the man. 

"why must you hide your face from me?" there's a hint of a whine in his voice. ethan feels a hand on his wrist, tugging. "i want to see your face, darling." 

"mark." it's breathy, muffled by his arm. 

"darling," there's another tug at his wrist. "please let me see you." 

ethan toys with the idea of never coming out, staying here forever, in this moment. but eventually, mark's pleadings win and he moves his hands. he sees spots in front of him, the light of the room far too bright. 

they look at each other, mark's hair is mussed, his beard disheveled. at some point he must have undone the strings of his shirt, exposing the hair on his chest. ethan wants to reach up and touch it. he imagines he looks about the same, if not worse. robe open, shirt bunched, no trousers. ethan feels naked in more ways than one. 

though he doesn't move to cover himself. 

mark stares back, raking his eyes across the boy in front of him. running his hands down his skin, dipping into the skin of his thighs, and resting on his calves. he breathes deeply, taking in every inch of ethan. 

"ethan." 

"yes, mark." 

the king leans down, pressing his body back against ethans, shielding him from the chill in the room. his forearms are on either side of ethan's face, one hand brushing back his hair from his eyes. 

"thank you." he's so close, again they share a breath. they share a kiss, softer than before. ethan holds mark's face, fingers around the back of his head, thumbs on his temple. 

"for what." he says as they break apart. mark lets his weight fall slowly, trapping ethan's body under his.

"for-," his head is now resting against ethan's chest, his breath heaving over ethan's skin. "for being willing to stay." 

it makes ethan think back to this morning, thinking all of this was a mistake. wanting to have never agreed to this. it makes ethan wrap his arms around mark's shoulders, rubbing his back as they lay together on the king's large bed. 

his eyes catch a ray of sun across the room, falling over the desk. a cloud must have moved. he watches as the dust of the room flies in and out of the light, how the ray makes marks glasses shine. he thinks about how tyler acts around him and how he knows what they really are. 

he thinks about the maids who bring him water for his bath and the chefs that know his favorite recipes. he thinks about amy and seán, how they know, how the five of them have grown up together and have taken such different life roles. 

he thinks about mark when he was younger, how they both would play in the garden while mark's father had meetings in the war room and his mother was making weavings. he thinks about training for combat in the fields beyond the town and how mark would visit, remark how cool it was that ethan was doing this. how proud he was. 

ethan doesn't know if any of this was a mistake, it's a thing he tells himself when he's questioning. uses it as an excuse for how weird it feels to hide this. this, soft, moment between the two of them. he thinks it's a way to justify why he doesn't want anyone to know. 

"mark." 

the king lifts his head, rests his chin against ethan's chest. his eyes are so attentive. ethan wants to never look away. 

"thank you for letting me stay."

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr at moriiweather :) come say hi and drop a message in my ask box


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